Where is Home?
Where is home to you? Is the saying “Home is where your heart is” a true definition for you?
I just came back from Portugal. It was my first time visiting Europe, first time experiencing and learning more about my roots. This trip was in many ways a dream come true for me and my family. My dad moved to Brazil when he was 10 years old, his Portuguese parents were trying to give him a better life after the end of Word War II. Many people from Europe migrated to other countries to find work at that time. Many people still migrate to different countries today, immigration has been a big issue since forever and putting all politics aside, as humans we have this need to belong, we lose a little of our essence and give space to new things.
As an immigrant myself, I can tell you that the mix of cultures is equally fascinating and scary. I do believe we are the product of our environment and knowing that you have this melting pot of options and beliefs, can bring an overwhelming sense of being lost, a feeling that you don’t belong. Not only you feel you don’t belong in the new country but when you live abroad for so long, you can also feel you don’t belong in your own country.
I am a Portuguese citizen yet I had never set foot in Portugal until a couple of weeks ago. I had never been there but I did grow up with Portuguese grandparents and a Portuguese dad. There are many similarities between Brazil and Portugal, giving that Brazil was a Portuguese colony, there are no surprises there. But the similarities and the upbring of a mix culture family did not make me feel as Portuguese as I felt when I visited.
It is a strange feeling, a belonging feeling even though I’ve never been. The history, the villa where dad grew up, the difference in the same Portuguese language (more than the accent, Portuguese in both countries are particular to the region), the architecture, the beauty of it all made me feel at home. Walking around and seeing people that look like me, that speak my language, that were so warm and welcoming brought an “I am home” feeling.
Obviously visiting a place as a tourist is always magical, you don’t see or simply ignore the problems, the difficulties and ugliness every country has, but to feel at home when you are on vacation is priceless. Many of us seek to belong in our communities, with our peers. Look at middle schoolers, they are always doing things that are many times stupid, because they simply want to belong.
We were created to live in unity, community, together. Sometimes we find that no matter where we are, we can’t feel at home, even if we have been living in the same house from the day that we were born. There are differences and similarities that every immigrant finds in the new place. Some big some small and, by instinct, we look for the people that think like us, that look like us. We welcome the new, the exciting, the change, all the while longing for a place where we feel accepted and loved.
Home is not a house, it is not a building, is a people. So yes, in many ways “Home is where the heart is” is correct. We build a family of blood and we build a family of friends, we build relationships throughout our lives that can last for a season or it can last forever, but most important we seek for people where we can all feel that we belong.
More than missing people you love, when you move to another country, you also miss a whole life you left behind, and building a new community takes time, trusting people and bringing them to your life takes time. Learning about other people’s habits, ways of thinking, ways of doing even a simple task, takes time.
No matter how long it takes, do not stop working on this family you want around you, because now you are a citizen of the world and no place on Earth will ever give you a feeling of belonging. It can give you some comfort, it can make you feel welcome, but the experiences you have in other places changes you. You might not even notice, but it changes the way you see things and people. It is not bad; it is just different. So never give up on finding your people, because they are HOME.
Be open to learn new things and give others a chance to learn from you as well. Being an immigrant is not that different than living in the same place and never feeling home. It is really about how you see things and make choices. It is not about the place as much about the balance between your culture and the culture of the people from the country you are in. There is always going to be differences but if you all have the same goals, same perspective, soon you will be able to feel At Home.














































































































