The Stories We Do Not Share
Many people think
that they live an ordinary life and have nothing worth sharing, they believe that whatever has happened to them during however many years they have been alive is what happens to everyone, that they are no better than the people next door. They believe that whatever grief they have been through is part of life, everybody has their own problems and telling others will amount to nothing or, worse, will be a reason to be put on the spot, to answer questions that they don’t want to, or haven’t taken the time to think about.
Years ago, when I was getting my coaching certification, during one of the teaching sessions, John Maxwell said that he takes time every single day to think of what went right and wrong with his day, how he can make it better next day and what he has learned, that is a habit that most of us don’t cultivate. It is hard to think about your own life, to reflect on how things are going, to live with purpose.
Living life on “auto-pilot” is pretty comfortable, it doesn’t raise questions, it doesn’t make you think and ultimately, it doesn’t make you change. Change can be scary; change requires action and many of these actions are sacrifices we have to make. We all want to be successful but few of us want to pay the price. Sharing our stories means exposing ourselves, it means being vulnerable and a lot of people interpret vulnerability as a weakness, something that makes you unprotected, that will reveal parts of us that no one should know.
Our minds go places, don’t they? What if they think I am a failure? What if they think I took the wrong route? What if people think I have nothing to offer because my life is a mess or “too perfect” to be exposed? Some of us are afraid that sharing is complaining, that being vulnerable makes a way for gossip, that when you keep it all to yourself you are actually keeping it together.
While we spend years inside our own heads thinking all of these thoughts that can take us to dark places, we are missing the boat. We are too busy being selfish and worrying about what others will say that we forget that our stories can save lives. Yes, I said save lives. Not in the literal meaning but in many other ways. Your pain can be someone else’s gain. People can get inspired by you, they can think: if she did, so can I. They can remember how you felt when someone you love was diagnosed with an uncurable disease, they can remember how you and your family dug out of the financial disaster you were in, they will remember of examples of people that have been there – done it.
If you can give somebody the ropes to get to the other side of a difficult, sometimes unimaginable painful situation, why wouldn’t you? The thing is, you would, I would, anyone would, but we think that this is meant to happen in a very special occasion when someone you already know will ask you for advice, we don’t think that millions of people we don’t know can actually benefit from the stories of our struggles. Hear me here, sister, I am not saying pour out your heart to strangers or people that you know but don’t trust. I am not saying to go and wash your laundry in public, but I am saying that if we listen, there are plenty of opportunities on a daily basis to share our stories. You don’t have to be a speaker or a writer, you just need to listen to God when He gives you the ok to do so.
People seating in the waiting room of your doctor’s office need a lot more than a blood test. Your neighbors who are always smiling are also going through something you have no idea, even your close friends are struggling whether they tell you or not. When you open up, when you tell people how you found a better job than the one you were let go, how you overcame the loss of a family member, how you beat depression, how you felt unloved or unworthy for so long, but God. When you share even the things you think are most insignificant, like how you saved your rose bushes or something, all of it, it speaks to others.
Our lives are made of seasons and much like the weather that is different depending on which part of the equator you live, different seasons are going on for all of us. Sometimes it’s sunny and bright but next day you might be faced with a thunderstorm or a tornado that will take the ground from under your feet and you don’t even know where to start. The stories we do not tell are the ones that will make an impact to somebody else. Every time you choose to be quiet you are missing on chances to make a difference, to help, to be part of another human being’s transformation. The stories we do not share are, sometimes, the ones we live trough over and over and over again because we might have missed on a chance to hear someone else’s story that would have been the solution to our issue if only we have decided to be vulnerable, if only we had shared.
“They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony” Revelation 12:11a














































































































