Help My Unbelief

Hi there, it is an immense pleasure to have you here with me! I hope you hang in there while I figure how to navigate this new phase of my life. Writing was always part of me, at 10 I started a book about this kid named Julia and how she dreamed to be a lawyer, unfortunately the book never made more then a couple pages. Julia came back when I wrote a play for church about this older woman looking back at 3 different phases of her life and realizing how Jesus was with her at every step. Because I really liked to write, I went to college and graduated in Social Communications with a bachelor in Journalism. For 4 years I worked as a reporter at a medium size newspaper and it felt like I hit the jackpot. Years later, I found myself in a new country not feeling confident that I could write in English (my native language is Portuguese). Life happened and I worked at different places and learned different skills but in the back of my head, being a writer was something that I have always wanted. As we progress with the Blog, I will tell you more about me and many stories that hopefully will help you move forward with your dream. In my case is writing, what is yours? Whatever it is, do not let discouragement and toxic thoughts tell you that you cannot do it. It is a lie. You can and you will, because our Creator made us perfectly capable of doing the things that we never thought would be possible. In Him and for Him we can do all things.

They say the only constant in life is change. For some people change is exciting and fun, for others scary and frightening. Regardless of how we feel about change, they come and there is not much we can do about that. Embracing change certainly makes things easier, choosing the changes whenever possible makes us feel more in control of the situation, but that is not always the case, is it? Let’s say the company you work for is moving to a different state and you will be laid off. This is the kind of change that you have little or no control of; however, choosing where you will land next is a change that you can control. Life comes at us whether we like it or not. During the period of time we spend on this side of heaven we have to choose many things: what to eat every day, what to wear, friends, hobbies, you name it, sometimes it feels like life is one choice after another, and it is. As we get older, we care less of what people think or say about us but we also get more resistant to changes, especially if it has nothing to do with moving from one place to another, one job to another, but changing within. Changing our ways of thinking, our habits, our routines, is really hard, I mean really hard. When I hear people saying that all it takes for you to make significant changes in your life all you need to do is want to change, I feel like punching them in the face. If it were that easy, everyone would be 20 pounds lighter, $200K richer, golden medalist in some sort of sport, every person in abusive relationships would be free, every person afraid of start something new would suddenly be as bold as they come. There is some true to this statement, of course you need to want to change, you need to want to be a better version of yourself, you need to want to learn new things, you need to want to have better relationships, you need to want to start a new business, you need to want to eat healthier. Yes, you do need to want to, but willpower can only go so far. I think that if we compare ourselves to other people who seemingly are successful in whatever there is we want to do, we buy this lie that willpower is all we need. We constantly feel stuck or afraid because willpower is not the only thing we need. We need to have a clear vision of what we want and where we want to get. More and more, I find that such vision can only exist if we align our plans to God’s plans for our lives. When we try to do things by ourselves, with our human strength it can get ugly, it can paralyze us, it makes us depressed, anxious and felling like we are not good enough. When we invite the author of our lives to join us in any adventure or challenge we are taking in, it will not necessarily make the journey easier, but it will bring peace and comfort in knowing we are not alone. I think that in a culture where everyone became a specialist in personal development, in the depths of the mind, it is really hard not to listen to the “experts”, but do not let anyone tell you that things are so easy all the time. I do not mean that we should complain and wallow all day long, but life is not easy and doing it alone is almost impossible. When we take the time to know Jesus, to share our burdens with Him to tell Him about our dreams, we find courage and resilience. Looking for a new job is hard, learning a new skill is hard, but keep working at a job you hate for as long as you can hold to it is harder. Eating clean food and exercising is hard, but being overweight and feeling like crap all the time is harder. Joining small groups at church and meeting new people is hard, but being alone and not having anyone to cover you with prayers is harder. Whatever it is that we think is super duper hard to do, I guarantee you it is harder not to do anything to change. Nothing worth having in life comes easy, so Choose Your Hard my friend. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5-6

Fame, wealth, followers, magazine covers, big bank accounts, fancy cars, all of that is what society nowadays describes as being successful. Having success in your career is when you get the corner office and everyone in your field knows who you are, or it could be when you have millions of followers on social media that are consuming your products, maybe an author of a best-seller book translated into many languages. I am not saying these are not accurate definitions of success, but for who? The pressure to be known, to achieve fame, to be respected in some authority you might have about any subject is so big that, more than ever, people are struggling with depression and anxiety, myself included. Let me tell you a story: I put myself through college and in my freshmen year I started an internship at the biggest newspaper in town. I was living in Brazil in a city with approximately 450,000 people, not too small, not too big, but a decent size where I could be recognized for my work. After a few months working the paper archives (yes, I’m that old), I was transferred to shadow and work with the reporters. I was studying journalism and it felt like I had won the lottery. At the time I had no intention of being famous, social media was not a thing, all I wanted was to change the world and being the best journalist I could be. Eventually I was a hired reporter, a real one, I was writing my own articles, interviewing all sorts of people every day. Covering entertainment events, natural disasters, new government inaugurations, you name it, I was on the top of the world. Even though this was a pretty sweet deal, I dreamed bigger: I wanted to be a reporter at a big city newspaper and, after graduating, I decided that if I learned English and took a year abroad to experience a new culture, this was going to be the key to land a big new job. In a nutshell, I moved to the US and I had a fantastic year, but my plans were not God’s plans and my life changed drastically. I decided to stay in the US and had work all sorts of (ethical) jobs to be able to afford rent, food, transportation, well, I was a young adult living far away from family in a foreign country. I did pretty well for myself, I was always a go-getter type, but writing, interviewing and having my name printed at a newspaper or magazine started to be part of my past and not my future. This is a very long story, that I will probably reveal to you little by little, but the point I want to make here is that being prosperous started to shape in a different way to me. As I got older, got married, had kids, none of the world definition of prosperity and success made sense anymore. Despite still wanting to do important work that would help people, things in a worldly definition are not very important anymore. As you walk along with Jesus and make your relationship with Him your priority, you start to see and feel differently about things. Your wishes and dreams are about making an impact rather than being recognized. You start thinking how you are going to raise Godly children, how you are going to live in a way that people would want to be close to you because of what you do for them not what you sell them or do to them or appear to them. Prosperity is not just about money, it is about living a healthy life in all areas. Healthy body, healthy mind, healthy spirit, healthy relationships, healthy interactions and yes, healthy finances too. But the focus is no longer to have my name on display, but have His name on display. Not caring about the best and most expensive car or house or things, but caring about the best thing you will do for someone. I am far from being the best neighbor, friend, mother, wife, daughter, I know I have my limitations and I also know I can be selfish plenty of times, but being abundantly blessed is not about being perfect either, it is not about putting others above me at all times, it is about listening to God, obeying, listening to people even if you are not able to solve their problems. It is about smiling to someone even when you are not feeling all that happy, it is about holding the door for the next person to come in, it is about being polite and generous to the waiter during lunch. It is about the small things. “And God is able to bless you abundantly so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work” 2 Corinthians 9:8 .

Everyday we hear news about different subjects and most of the time they are news that concerns us. My husband and I stopped watching TV news and reading the newspaper many years ago, I venture to say over 15 years ago when we realized that the bad, sad, violent news wasn’t bringing any joy to our lives, or teaching us something new or doing anything other than making us feel anxious and sad. Not watching the news brought us some peace back, but we don’t need to watch the news to know what is going on in the world. If you have social media, of any kind, you are pretty much aware of so much that, in my opinion, we didn’t even need to know. There is always a 30 second video or an attractive post or someone you admire saying something that will bring you both awareness and a sentiment of uneasy. It is everywhere and, unless you go off the grid, you are pretty much exposed even if you don’t want to be. I was scrolling on Instagram the other day and I saw a short video from an interview with author John Eldredge and in that video, he was saying that we are not supposed to know about all the news around the world, that our brain wasn’t created to know so many things. He was saying that back in the day, people were living in small communities with about 150 people and they were a lot less anxious and stressed. I completely agree with him! I think living in a small world brings us small problems that we can solve and not lose our minds over it, especially over things that we cannot control, like wars and violence happening all over the Earth. For a while now, I have been thinking of living small and what that would mean for people like me that use the internet for so many things, including working from home. I joke sometimes and tell people that I want to become Amish and I mean in a sense where technology and the 10 thousand news we receive all day would be made much smaller. Less information, less opinions, less stress. I realize there are many factors to consider and I am not saying I could survive living off the grid, or that even would be my preference, but we all know the effects that social media have brought to our lives. As a society, we have more anxious people, teens and kids that are depressed, suicide rates are off the chart and let’s not even start with the comparison. “The grass is greener on the other side” became an understatement for what people think that they need just because they think everybody else are happier, have more, do more, travel more, buy more… We know how our kids and teens are more aggressive and behave erratically when they are exposed to electronics for so many hours and are told to turn it off. Our kids don’t play outside, they don’t work with their hands, they need the internet for everything, including school. I am not saying all of these are bad, I am not saying we should live like we did in the 80’s, although it would be fantastic, I understand the importance of technology and specially the internet, that’s how many people make money, that is how many people network and that is how many businesses survive. But I am saying that less is more and, in this case, less information, especially about wars and issues that we can’t really solve, that less scrolling and more time outside, less TV shows and more books can bring balance to our emotions, can make living small smarter than virtually living everywhere. Like John Eldridge said on his interview, if you want to reduce anxiety in your children, make their world smaller. I actually thinking that adults could also use a smaller world to be happier and have less stress in life. One of these days I might write a post from my middle-of-nowhere farm where I am doing homestead and living free of depression and anxiety and I will tell you how I did it and how much the quality of life of my family improved. This life style is, after all, something I admire and think about frequently. I am pretty sure my husband and my kids do not plan to join me in this farm, but one can dream, ha-ha. In all seriousness I can do more than dream, I can also pray and have interesting conversations at the dinner table that might bring to some effective ideas that we can implement now and make things better without going off the grid. So, friend, tell me what you think of this faster-than-light amount of information that you receive every day. I’d love to know how you process all the news and what you do to help to keep your world small and happier. You can leave me a comment at the Contact Us session and I will make sure to respond as quickly as I can. Here is the link of Dr Axe’s podcast interviewing John Eldredge.

Have you ever thought about eulogies? What people say and why? I know, I know, this sounds morbid and you are here to read something uplifting, but bear with me, I promise you will not be depressed after this reading. For the past month I have got news of people that passed away and a couple of weeks ago I lost my dog, maybe there that is why I am reflecting on death a little bit, but not about the sad part, I am reflecting on the impact that people have in our lives and the impact we have on others as well. Every time I go to a wake, I hear people bringing up stories and saying wonderful things about the person in question. I think it’s wonderful that many people lived a life worth of being celebrated by others, I really think that if we do not leave a mark on anyone it would be really sad, that we are all here to make an impact in some way, shape or form, on other people’s lives. Legacy is not about the money we leave for our kids; legacy is about the difference we make on others’ lives, our family, our friends, people from our community, co-workers, you name it, every one that we encounter should feel better because of how we treat them, how we make them feel, how we lift them up. I was watching a series the other day where a guy was killed and they were trying to find out who did it, during the investigation the detective read this person’s diary and in it he had a lot of nice things to say about everyone that worked with him. The issue is, he never told anyone how he appreciated them. He never expressed how they were an important part of his life, how he wishes he could make their lives better and so on. This kind of thing makes me think, reflect on how we all live such busy lives that saying “I love you” doesn’t really mean anything anymore. We can say I love you to the people closest to us and yet not really express love at all. Maybe it’s me, but I think that most people would agree that although important, the phrase “I love you” does not carry the full meaning of the feeling when said just because. It is not even about loving someone; it’s really about expressing our gratitude and building people up. Complements in our society are either viewed as a form of making someone like you or fakeness. It is hard to recognize a real compliment and it is also hard to accept it. If someone says “what a nice dress”, we rush to say “oh this old thing, I’ve had for years”. If someone says “you look great today” we respond with “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Why is so hard to accept a complement and simply say “thank you” with a large smile? The same way we have a hard time accepting compliments, we have difficulty in paying a compliment, in telling people how important they are, we think they won’t believe us, that it will sound fake or that they will think we want something in return. Isn’t that just sad? We wait to tell the most important people in our lives that we admire them, we want to be like them, that they make our days better, when they die. We prepare this beautiful eulogy and we tell everyone what we really think about that person, but we don’t take enough time to tell them when we had the chance. We go out for some coffee and we laugh, we have fun but we don’t really say anything meaningful that will make the person feel loved and happy. It is not on purpose, we don’t go out with anyone thinking we should be distant or shouldn’t express any kind of real feelings. We just do it. That is how things work. We might talk everyday and never say “thank you” for anything, we think it’s implied on the way we smile, hug and look at them; and it is, all of that is important, but there has to be a deeper connection where we are all comfortable in saying and listening to gratefulness, compliments, positive words that reminds us all of the Agape Love, the original Love of God. A kind of love that is so pure that gives us a full heart. When we say good things to each other, we are showing the person that we think about them, that we cared, that we think they are funny or smart or sassy. Actions speak louder than words but the words we say should make the same impact. I get that a lot of us are not lovey-dovey, mellow, romantic all the time, I am not saying we should be that person, what I am saying is we should recognize that being alive is a gift and we share this gift with about 8 billion people all around the world and we must make sure that the very small fraction of the Earth population that we get to meet and do life with should feel special and should be impacted by us. We should live our lives like it is everyone’s last day in this world. We all should hear our eulogy while we are alive.

Lately I am finding many Bible scriptures in the book of Isaiah to fit perfectly this phase of my life. I am 48 years old, probably menopausal, feeling pain in lots of places I never felt before and looking for a job. For those of you that are confused about how I just described myself, let me make it easier for you: I am getting old! Haha We are all getting old, the same time that is passing me by is passing every single person on the planet by, no joke, we are all aging, but for those above 45, especially women, the changes in our bodies makes aging a little more interesting, challenging if you will. The lack of hormone producing that our bodies go through can bring different symptoms but a very common one is brain fog. In my case, the super memory I used to have, the one that remembered all the appointments for the whole family, who had what and when, sports, social events, church events, doctors’ visits, you name it…that wonderful memory is gone, now I only remember I have to eat because I get hungry, LOL. I am sure I am not alone in this, in fact, I know I am not alone and that is why I am being vulnerable and sharing with you some of my feelings and experiences. As a coach I try to name all my feelings but sometimes I can’t remember the name of the feeling, that’s right, laugh all you want, age will come to you too. Being bilingual, or as I like to joke: “I speak 2 and ½ languages” (because in one of them I am not fluent), does not help when I am trying to name things and the worse of all is when I can’t remember any given word in ANY language. Anyways, frustration is one felling that is around a lot, lately. I can get frustrated because I forgot to go to an appointment, or to put the clothes to dry and they sit in the washing machine, wet, for quite some time producing not such good smell, sorry, I digress. I can get frustrated when I don’t hear back from a job that I am applying, or when I get a rejection e-mail or when I know that I have to do some things but instead I procrastinate. Because of all the frustration I have been feeling lately, I am constantly asking God how I can do better, be better. A better wife, better mom, better administrator of my time and resources, and I am finding answers in the book of Isaiah, for example, Isaiah 43:18-19 says that I should forget the past (you know when my memory worked perfectly…) and see that God is doing a new thing, a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. You see, He is working even when I think I am losing my mind. God does not have menopause, or brain fog or dementia, He is perfect and He will make a point to remind us that even when we don’t know what to do next, where to go or how to get there, He does. He is God. Frustration can bring anxiety and depression; it can make you feel hopeless or angry. When things are not going our way, we tend to take the wheel from Jesus and start driving ourselves. No matter what you are going through, whether hormone (or lack of) caused or simply “too much to deal with” feelings, He is there for us. We can easily dwell in the past, either the “I used to do this and that” or the “my life was horrible, I didn’t have this or that” are great excuses for a pity party, but we must stop ourselves and not let these thoughts drag us to a dark place that is very hard to get out of. You see, God is doing a new thing, He gives us beauty for ashes, instead of mourning he is giving us a garment of praise, instead of a spirit of despair we will be called oaks of righteousness, a plant of the Lord for the display of His splendor – Isaiah 63:3. What an amazing God we have. He wants us to trust in His promises and dwell in the hope of a future, a great future with Him. I know sometimes it is hard to wait, it is hard not to be sure what is happening to your body, it is hard to be unemployed, it is hard to feel like you are losing control over things, it is hard to be disappointed at yourself, but He is still in control, no matter what comes our way. During a hard time, always remember that the things in us that we think aren’t good enough, the places we came from, the things we said are our ashes and when presented to God in surrender, He transforms them in beauty. Beautiful things are reserved for you and I, all we have to do is wait and trust.

Today I am writing this article in reverse, I say that because I usually have the title of the article very clear in my head and I’ll start from there, I’ll write the text, tighten things up to make sense of what the title is suggesting and I’ll include the title in the article, but, today I don’t have a title yet, so I just started writing and I am curious to see where this is going to take me and from which part of the article the title will come from. I usually write in complete silence; I don’t like to listen to music when I am writing but I love the classical Claire de Lune, I have been listing to this song over and over again this week and guess what? It is playing right now on my phone, right next to me and I love it. I am writing today with a different perspective and with different sounds, let’s see where this is going to take us… As I was driving back roads last week, I notice the green grass and the flowers popping up from the trees in front of the houses. Spring comes early here in South Carolina and the vegetation is different from what I was used to see in Massachusetts. Different is not necessarily better or worse, it’s just different. All the green leaves and beautiful white cherry blossoms filled my heart with joy and I started to think the same thought I have every time the seasons change, which is: it never ceases to amaze me how the trees can be dead one day and alive the next, you are driving today and everything is dry, dark, naked and, next day, it’s alive, green and fresh. What it appears to be an instantaneous transformation it didn’t really take just one day but, a much longer process that the mere spectator knows nothing about, what looks dead to us for days, even months, can become alive again. Nature rests for a while and on the outside, it looks done, gone, but God is still working underneath, inside, in places where no one can see but the trees, the bushes, the grass, they feel it, they know. Things we do not see are always part of a process, a process to make it pretty, fresh and life-giving again. The same thing happens to us, we go through the seasons of life where we can look dead or feel dead but we are not. God is working inside of us, in places nobody sees, inside our hearts and minds, molding, pressing and transforming so, in due season, we can spruce again, give fruit and become alive. It is not easy to go through the dry seasons where all we can see are difficulties and darkness. It is not easy to feel this way, to feel like there is no beauty and what is dead may never live, but we know that we are never without hope (2 Corinthians 4:8-9). When in the hands of our Creator we are a work in progress and all that is looking dead will live again, will be transformed and will fructify. There are seasons in life that can be hard to go through; the loss of someone you love, divorce, a sick child, a lost job…it is easy to lose hope but like the weather, our lives run in seasons and there is a change coming around the corner, just wait a little longer, press forward, be still. If we start looking at our lives as seasons and understand there is a time for everything under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1), we will understand that things will change. Change is the only constant in life and fighting it is pointless, trying to change alone is pointless, but letting God work inside of us to prepare us for the new season will only make us stronger and happier. Looking inside and exploring the feelings we have, the things we wish we could do, bringing it before the Lord and asking Him to make it better for the new season is the best way we can wait in peace, for however long, knowing that in the end, the cherry blossoms will come out again and produce an amazing aroma that will involve everyone around us and make them feel joy and peace because the Prince of Peace is the one working in us, is priceless. Being in the center of God’s will is priceless, because we don’t know what we don’t know (…and here is the title, yay!), but God does, He knows us from our very first breath, He knitted us in our mother’s womb and He calls us Daughters of the Most High. Embrace the process, let Him work in and through you and the Spring of your life will be always fresh, pretty, green and of good fragrance. .

Today I am writing from a very privileged place with a million-dollar view. I can see the ocean from a higher place, I can hear the waves crashing over the shore, I see the beautiful sand and people walking by, and in all of it, I can’t fathom this immense body of water, I can’t tell where the water ends and the sky begins. It is truly magical and it is safe to say that the beach is my happy place. The reason why I am at the beach is to attend a Christian women’s conference. I am learning, laughing, crying and experiencing sisterhood. There is power in being at the same place with thousands (6800 to be precise) other women worshiping God and hearing His Word and today I was reminded that having fun is part of navigating life and bringing joy to situations where it wouldn’t be joyful otherwise. We go through life in an autopilot mode sometimes, we have so many issues that require our attention and we end up forgetting to have fun. Somehow when you are adulting you are not allowed to have fun, nobody tells us that, but we intrinsically know or adopt the idea that adults are not allowed to have fun. We work, pay our bills, take care of the house, raise good human beings (hopefully) and deal with all the stuff life throws at us. We all have problems and if we focus on the everyday issues or big life problems like sickness, divorce, losing a job or even death, we forget to have fun. I have been thinking about fun a lot lately, as I examine my life, I found out that wasn’t fun anymore. Not only I wasn’t fun, I also wouldn’t allow myself to have fun with silly things, in my mind there is no time for fun, I can’t stop to hear a silly joke or watch a stupid (some may call funny) video. I wasn’t able to laugh “just because” in a long time. Somewhere along the way, somewhere when life got really hard, when I thought I had no time for fun, I just stopped pursuing fun things and being a fun person and that is just not right, it is not what life is supposed to look like. So, I decided that I would no longer hold off on fun things and funny moments. I would allow myself to experience pain and joy at the same time, to be able to feel my feelings but not forget that life can be a lot easier with a little laughter. My husband and I were talking about something the other day, something to do with bringing things to a place or whatnot, I genuinely don’t remember exactly what we were saying, but it wasn’t anything important, it was more like who’s going where with what kid this week kind of thing. The point is, I made a silly comment, nothing that other people would probably laugh, but something in the way I said it, made both of us start laughing until our bellies hurt. You know the kind of laugh that you can’t contain? The kind that makes you snort, cry and have pain in your face kind of laugh? Yes, that one! I was able to laugh so hard that I almost peed my pants. After we were able to recollect ourselves, I thought, wow it has been ages since I laughed so hard and experiencing that made me feel alive, light, as if the world’s biggest problems went away for 5 minutes. As part of my self-examination, I am investigating the reason why I let fun go. There is no simple answer I would say, it is a combination of growing up with religious teaching where you learn that having fun, most of the time, is not a godly thing and life hardships, also the fact that most of us think that being responsible is not being fun. We think we have to be responsible and reliable for our kids and society, but that does not mean you should be sad and put fun behind ourselves. Who said responsible people are grumpy and mad? Being responsible has nothing to do with being grumpy, actually if you are really responsible you should choose the best part, like Mary, Lazarus’s sister who choose to be at Jesus’s feet instead of getting the house ready for the guests, as did her sister Martha. I was reminded today that having fun makes life’s troubles easier. We will always have problems to solve, we will always have serious and even morbid things to think about, why not do that at the same time we have fun? Responsibility and fun can go hand-in-hand, trouble and fun can go hand-in-hand. I can feel sad for something but remember the good that came or will come out of a tough situation and try and have fun with it. Heaven will be fun; eternity will be fun. God didn’t create us to suffer and be miserable all the time. He gave us coping mechanisms that with time, and fun, will transform sorrow in joy. There is a bible verse that says that God set eternity in the human heart (Ecclesiastes 3:11). How fun is that? How amazing is to experience a little bit of eternity because the creator of heaven and Earth planted it inside of our hearts? This right here, this verse alone should bring you hope and faith that all things are passing things, they aren’t here forever so why not bring fun to your problems? Why not make the pain more tolerable and enjoy this amazing thing that our brains can do which is to co-exist with different feelings at the same time. Today I choose joy, I choose to have fun, I choose to let the child-like Nancy come alive and face life in an easier, funnier, lighter way. They say God has a sense of humor, I’d say that’s pretty accurate, not only He enjoys His creation He also wants to have a relationship with us and have fun together. If He cares about us so much that He put a little bit of eternity inside our hearts, I am sure He wants us to wait for eternity in a fun, joyful way.

Many people think that they live an ordinary life and have nothing worth sharing, they believe that whatever has happened to them during however many years they have been alive is what happens to everyone, that they are no better than the people next door. They believe that whatever grief they have been through is part of life, everybody has their own problems and telling others will amount to nothing or, worse, will be a reason to be put on the spot, to answer questions that they don’t want to, or haven’t taken the time to think about. Years ago, when I was getting my coaching certification, during one of the teaching sessions, John Maxwell said that he takes time every single day to think of what went right and wrong with his day, how he can make it better next day and what he has learned, that is a habit that most of us don’t cultivate. It is hard to think about your own life, to reflect on how things are going, to live with purpose. Living life on “auto-pilot” is pretty comfortable, it doesn’t raise questions, it doesn’t make you think and ultimately, it doesn’t make you change. Change can be scary; change requires action and many of these actions are sacrifices we have to make. We all want to be successful but few of us want to pay the price. Sharing our stories means exposing ourselves, it means being vulnerable and a lot of people interpret vulnerability as a weakness, something that makes you unprotected, that will reveal parts of us that no one should know. Our minds go places, don’t they? What if they think I am a failure? What if they think I took the wrong route? What if people think I have nothing to offer because my life is a mess or “too perfect” to be exposed? Some of us are afraid that sharing is complaining, that being vulnerable makes a way for gossip, that when you keep it all to yourself you are actually keeping it together. While we spend years inside our own heads thinking all of these thoughts that can take us to dark places, we are missing the boat. We are too busy being selfish and worrying about what others will say that we forget that our stories can save lives. Yes, I said save lives. Not in the literal meaning but in many other ways. Your pain can be someone else’s gain. People can get inspired by you, they can think: if she did, so can I. They can remember how you felt when someone you love was diagnosed with an uncurable disease, they can remember how you and your family dug out of the financial disaster you were in, they will remember of examples of people that have been there – done it. If you can give somebody the ropes to get to the other side of a difficult, sometimes unimaginable painful situation, why wouldn’t you? The thing is, you would, I would, anyone would, but we think that this is meant to happen in a very special occasion when someone you already know will ask you for advice, we don’t think that millions of people we don’t know can actually benefit from the stories of our struggles. Hear me here, sister, I am not saying pour out your heart to strangers or people that you know but don’t trust. I am not saying to go and wash your laundry in public, but I am saying that if we listen, there are plenty of opportunities on a daily basis to share our stories. You don’t have to be a speaker or a writer, you just need to listen to God when He gives you the ok to do so. People seating in the waiting room of your doctor’s office need a lot more than a blood test. Your neighbors who are always smiling are also going through something you have no idea, even your close friends are struggling whether they tell you or not. When you open up, when you tell people how you found a better job than the one you were let go, how you overcame the loss of a family member, how you beat depression, how you felt unloved or unworthy for so long, but God. When you share even the things you think are most insignificant, like how you saved your rose bushes or something, all of it, it speaks to others. Our lives are made of seasons and much like the weather that is different depending on which part of the equator you live, different seasons are going on for all of us. Sometimes it’s sunny and bright but next day you might be faced with a thunderstorm or a tornado that will take the ground from under your feet and you don’t even know where to start. The stories we do not tell are the ones that will make an impact to somebody else. Every time you choose to be quiet you are missing on chances to make a difference, to help, to be part of another human being’s transformation. The stories we do not share are, sometimes, the ones we live trough over and over and over again because we might have missed on a chance to hear someone else’s story that would have been the solution to our issue if only we have decided to be vulnerable, if only we had shared. “They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony” Revelation 12:11a